Teen fiction isn’t what it used to be. True, I have only been a teen for a paltry five out of seven years, but in that limited period these are the “top book series” my generation has been granted to obsess about:
(God save us all)
1. The Twilight Saga
‘Nuff said. I have hated this series for so long, that I feel like I have gone beyond the stage of mere hatred. Where once I would have interesting, heated debates with people who refused to believe that Twilight is, in fact, word vomit (ah the times); I have now become a pacifist. Why you ask? I suppose too many people told me that the love in Twilight was absolutely beautiful.
Edward plays the role of a chauvinistic, overprotective, father figure in Bella’s life. But hey, that’s irrelevant because their love is beautiful! Jacob, the hulking man, is in love with a baby. That’s ok too because their love is beautiful! Obviously cynical readers like me who read too much into “age differences” don’t understand the beauty of love. Like, duh.
So now when someone tells me the “saga’s” supposedly redeeming qualities: (Edward is the hottest guy ever! He sparkles! Also Taylor Lautner has abs!”), I just smile pityingly.
2. The Hunger Games Trilogy
You know, I experienced an interesting transition in my feelings regarding this series. Something that went like this:
Book 1 - The Hunger Games: Hey, this book is pretty interesting. I wish there weren’t so many sentence fragments, however. (Sometimes I channel my Inner Grammar Nazi, but, hey, don’t we all?) Also I sense a love triangle being introduced. I certainly hope that it won’t be ramped up in the coming books, because there’s nothing more clichéd.
Book 2 - Catching Fire: The plot isn’t moving as quickly as it did in the first book. The politics in this book, however, is interesting- it’s too bad it isn’t given more than a few sentences of attention. I see the sentence fragments are still here with us. A message to Suzanne Collins: I wish. Katniss. Could. Complete. A Damn. Sentence.
Still, no major literary calamities yet. Hmm…Oh crap, no, the love triangle thing again! Katniss is acting oh-so-martyr like- having to make a choice. She’s starting to remind me of She Who Must Not Be Named (Bella Swan). I’m not sure if I want to read the next book.
Hold that thought- the book ends with a cliffhanger. I hate cliffhangers. They’re just a commercial trick to make sure the reader buys the sequel. Well, congratulations Ms. Collins, your master plan worked. Now go bask in the rays of your evil victory. The next book better be good.
Book 3 - Mockingjay: This book sucks.
3. The Inheritance Cycle
I want to start out by saying I adore fantasy. I still get teary eyed thinking about how Robert Jordan died before finishing the Wheel of Time series, and silently urge George R. R. Martin to hang in there (I also tell him to freaking hurry up. Is winter ever coming?).
So, it seemed natural for me to read Eragon. I liked it, well a lot more than the subsequent books anyways, but I also think there isn’t a lot of skill involved in being Christopher Paolini. If you haven’t read Eragon, that’s fine- just read Lord of the Rings, watch all of the Star Wars movies, combine the plots, add a few dragons, write some horribly over-written prose, and you’ll practically be holding a manuscript. Also, we all knew that Arya was going to be the green dragon rider. Hence, Mr. Paolini, you had no climax.
4. The Vampire Diaries/ The School of Night/ Anything vampire related
Twilight was a terrible book, but it was, at least, original. These books are spawned off the success of Twilight, inspired by Twilight, and (here’s the shocker) are just as successful as Twilight!
Literary tastes of the world aside, I wish successful books would at least have the decency of being well written. The characters in these books are wholly one-dimensional and are depicted in a manner that would make hysterical Bella seem like a genuinely thoughtful and intelligent character.
There is only one great book written about a vampire and Bram Stoker wrote it in 1897. Go figure.
5. The City of Mortal Instruments Series
I’m not exactly an authority on this series, considering how I didn’t finish the first book. Then again, I didn’t finish the first book. Maybe that says something?